Five Years On
by Shadowhawke
Summary: Five years on, Toph spurs Katara to muse about Kataang... WARNING! Joke/nonserious fic. Read only if you weren’t so happy with the finale pairings/don’t mind a laugh at them/are bored/don't mind reading crack oneshots typed out in under an hour.


**Five Years On**

Disclaimer: Mike and Bryan own Avatar. I own nothing. I just have an overactive imagination.

A/N I: You know, this started out as just a funny idea in my head, but then as I kept writing I remembered that I fail at writing funny, so I just wrote what came to me. Maybe I'll come back and rework this one day... I did just pound it all out in under an hour, after all. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret putting this up because I haven't edited it yet... but oh well. I didn't just stay up past my eye-drooping time for nothing...

Just as a note, this is NOT a reflection/side story/connected in any way with my other (serious) fanfic, the Alchemy of Fire. This is just me getting random ideas and wanting to run with them. Maybe somebody should trip me up one day and save the world some pain.

* * *

Toph knew something was wrong, or at least not right, the instant her feet settled onto the floor. And of course, because it was her, and she was the greatest earthbender in the world, she figured that she could weasel it out of her friend in less than twenty minutes.

"Hey Sugarqueen," the earthbender sauntered in amiably. "Where's Twinkletoes?"

"Toph, you've arrived!" Katara rushed forwards and swept the earthbender into a hug. The teenager allowed it to continue for a few seconds before pushing her back. "It's so good to see you!"

"Good to hear you again too," Toph agreed, plonking herself down on the nearest chair. "So... what's been up with you?"

Instantly, her feet measured something changing. Katara settled herself down onto the couch opposite, a gift from some noble that Aang had helped out a while ago. The Temple was littered with them... more gifts than Aang knew what to do with, so he just let the children they'd taken in run amok with them. Katara sighed deeply. The travesties of peace.

"Not much really," she told the truth. "I've just been looking after the place as normal, practicing my waterbending sometimes... I haven't really been out of the Temple since I..."

Her voice drifted away. It had been a while. Still, Toph didn't seem to notice. The earthbender leaned back into her seat instead, an air of curiosity settling on her. Now she was sure that something was wrong. "Well it can't be the lifestyle," she mused out loud. "I mean, you've got it pretty good up here. Don't have to worry about a thing. After a century of war, the world cleaned up pretty darn quick. It's all nice and peaceful now. You still get to travel on the furball regularly. You get all the perks with the Avatar being your husband and..."

Toph paused abruptly from where she'd been ticking things off on her fingers. Quickly, she flexed her toes, just to make sure that she'd gotten it right. And yep, she had. There had been a definite drop in heartbeat just then, and suddenly all the times over the last five years she'd heard no change when the Avatar had walked into the room made sense.

"Oh. Aang troubles. Got it."

"What?!" Katara sat up from where she'd been shrinking back into her chair, trying desperately not to squirm from Toph's offhand analysis. "Where'd you get that idea from?"

Toph smirked as she danced her toes across the stone floor, a satisfied smile crossing her impish face. "Wherever I got it from, Sugarqueen, you just proved it."

Katara blinked at the girl opposite her. "That's... that's ridiculous," she tried to smile, and it came out a little like a shocked rabbit-mouse. Then again, Toph couldn't see, so it didn't really matter. Still, she was drawn uncomfortably back to a time when her life had been... alive. When she'd been preparing for an invasion, and subsequently gotten her first kiss.

Katara frowned, suddenly. For a first kiss, it had been more like a sigh. _Well dang. Now I know we're all going to die._

Katara shook her head and refocused on the conversation. She didn't really feel like going there. "That's ridiculous," she repeated, more firmly this time. "Aang and I are just fine." _Fine. Really we are. We talk. I watch him play with the kids. I heal him when he gets hurt. We have dinner together. We're fine._

Toph said nothing, just peered at her thoughtfully for a while through her sightless eyes. "Hmmm... feeling abandoned? He does leave you alone quite a bit, doesn't he? I know you don't go to all the treaties."

Katara's mouth moved before she thought. "No, that's not it," she shook her head, before leaping up. "Hey! Wait, I didn't..."

But it was far, far too late. The little earthbender smirked to herself, and added a little mental note in her mind that she was one-up on Sokka. Or more like twenty-up on Sokka. But then again, that was his fault, what with his instincts and all...

"Hah! Got you there, Sugarqueen!" she crowed. "Okay, so now that we know something's wrong, what is it, really?"

Katara looked away from her with a sigh, her hands unconsciously going to comb through her hair. It had grown longer since the end of the War... she'd only cut it once or twice. Sokka had joked a few times that that way she and Aang complemented each other perfectly. She'd just stared back flatly at him. Because really, if it had been about the hair, then she'd have chased after Haru.

_... or someone else._

"It's... complicated," the waterbender admitted slowly, still not looking at her friend. "I don't know exactly. I can't really put my finger on it. I mean, nothing's changed. I wake up in the morning, I speak to him if he's here, we have breakfast together, we go for walks..."

_We do our usual routine. We do the mundane thing. I always thought that when water settled, it would age well. But I guess I never realised how complacent you become with routine. You love me. I love you. We're a happy family?_

Katara shook her head. "It's just... complicated."

Toph leaned back. "So let me help you, then," she said cheerfully. "What is it? The sex?"

"_TOPH!"_

As Katara gasped, Toph laughed freely at her friend's discomfort, throwing her head back in sheer delight. The movement tilted her features into the light, and the waterbender was forced to look at her friend again with a sigh. She knew that Toph was seventeen now... and old enough to be dropping around words like that. Not that Toph had ever let the rules define her, anyway. But still. It was so easy to remember her as the stubborn, rock-hard twelve-year old of all those years ago...

"Well Sugarqueen? You didn't answer the question."

Katara felt a line of red stain her cheeks, but it was more from sheer disbelief that she was openly discussing this with someone than anything. "No. I refuse to be discussing this."

It was the wrong thing to say. Toph only snickered evilly, and that was when Katara knew she was in trouble. "Is that because there's nothing to discuss?"

Katara flushed. "That's not true!" _Not completely, anyway. _

It didn't matter. At the earthbender's victorious grin, Katara felt her will caving in. "There's nothing wrong with the... thing," she muttered. "It's... nice."

Toph raised an eyebrow and cocked her head, spilling her silky bangs to one side. "Y'know, Katara. I've been around..." her smirk deepened as her friend's eyes widened. "And let me tell you, the _real_ stuff is never just 'nice'."

Katara's blush deepened. "What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

She really should have known better. Toph linked her hands behind her head and lay back, a smug little grin crossing her face. "What can I say? The real stuff is great. Mindblowing. Earthshattering. _Fiery_. Nice is... is like a walk in the park holding hands." The earthbender cast an amused glance at her friend. "And even though you've got one heck of a nice park up here, it still doesn't match up."

Katara narrowed her eyes and ignored the last part. "Toph Bei Fong," she said firmly, her hands on her hips. "You are seventeen years old, single, and a wealthy heiress. I refuse to believe that you know anything about this matter."

"Hey!" Toph objected. "First of all, you got shacked up with Twinkletoes at 14, so you can't say anything! Second, my position doesn't have anything to do with it! And third, just because I'm single doesn't mean I can't, say... sample the wares..."

Katara paled under her brown skin. "I don't want to hear about this..."

Of course, if she'd thought that could stop the little earthbender... she was much mistaken. Toph's grin nearly split her face as she kept going. "Well, let's just say that earthbenders can move the world. And I have to say, despite my natural biases, firebenders are just _hot_." Toph maneuvered her big toe to get the best reading, eager to feel what happened next. "_Especially_ their Fire Lord..."

Toph was not disappointed. Across from her, Katara almost jerked in her seat. _Zuko? _The thought rose in her mind unbidden, of the glimpses that she'd gotten of that chest, of the mesmerising glint in his eyes, and all of a sudden, Katara didn't need Toph to tell her that her heart rate was up.

The waterbender blinked.

That was bad. That was very bad. That was so bad, that it took her a moment to register that Toph was still talking.

"... and let me tell you, the things some of them do with the heat..."

"No! Stop! It's fine. It's... nice," Katara repeated desperately. La, _anything_ to get them off this subject. "It's not that!"

Toph rolled her eyes dramatically. "Then what is it, Sugarqueen? Spit it out!"

"I..."

Katara's eyes drifted from her friend's face, past the simple room and out the window. The view hung in stasis, the mountain's surface dropping steeply off below into air suspended over the valley. It was pretty. It had always been pretty. It had been pretty three years ago when they'd come to live here, and it was pretty even now three years later, when she was so used to seeing it that its prettiness didn't strike her anymore.

Not exotic. Not beautiful. Just pretty, well... neat.

Katara exhaled. Well, well, didn't that just sum it up? _What's wrong, Katara? What's wrong, really?_

She glanced back to Toph, noting the impatience written all over her face. And from somewhere deep inside her, the words spilled out.

Katara sighed, and let her mouth open into a pout. _What's wrong? _

"I'm **bored.**"

* * *

_..._

_"I know."_

_"I'm hungry."_

_"So what?"_

_"So get me something to..."_

... no, I'll just let that joke die there.

A/N II: Well there you have it. I hope that it was at least semi-entertaining. :) Please drop by a review, or if you're shaking your head in disgust right now and want something actually serious with character development, head over to The Alchemy of Fire. (/shameless self promotion) :P


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